i’m about to go out and spend christmas with neil at my parent’s house.
we’re being a hilarious married couple.
he claims that americans “don’t quite get christmas right”, and i tried to explain to him that in a country of immigrants, you’re bound to get more of a hodge-podge of random rituals as opposed to the more tightly-ritualized and “homogenized” results one might see in the UK (yes, i used the word “homogenized”… i know how to hit where it hurts).
we didn’t have a full-on fight about it, but in the high-drama soap-opera version of our life, i’d tearfully throw a dinner plate against the kitchen wall and scream “WELL JUST GET ON A PLANE TO LONDON AND GO TO FUCKING HARROD’S THEN”, and then he would purse his lips and reply “FINE I BLOODY DAMN WILL” as he stomps off to his man-cave blaring the BBC world service and booking the next virgin air ticket to das mutterland.
it’s definitely the holidays.
everybody gets homesick.
i’ve been having a hard time slowing down, but having to all of a sudden
be in one place
live in one place
get off the road
not have a huge professional goal
for the moment
for a while
is clearly going to be an adventure i’m going to have to face with open hands, it’s been a long time coming.
living with neil for the first time on top of all of this is also proving difficult.
my time with him has never been processing time, it’s been social time, and it remains like that.
when the holidays descend and the couple-obligations sky-rocket, it’s a perfect recipe for a stress-fest.
we’re dealing. i love him.
i’ve also been feeling an immense amount of gratitude for you guys.
around the anthony issue in particular, but just….in general.
you may be a new-comer or a long-time supporter, but whoever you are and however long you’ve been here, i want to take a moment to simply say thank you.
thank you for reading.
thank you for sharing your stories.
i don’t care if you supported my kickstarter, i don’t care if you’ve ever ordered merchandise from me, i don’t care if you’ve NEVER EVEN HEARD A SINGLE SONG BY ME OR THE DRESDEN DOLLS.
if you’re here, reading this blog, you’re part of my life, and i’m really grateful.
more than you can know.
i’ve been feeling so strange lately, so lost and disoriented with all the things happening in my life and in the world.
this blog, and my twitter feed, are a touchstone. i find true connection with all you smart, compassionate people and sometimes i feel too lucky to have you…sometimes i feel like i owe you more than just words and music, sometimes i feel like i wish i could give you all the gift of this feeling….the ability to be able to sit down, write words, feel sorrow and articulate it and find, on the other side, minutes later, an entire army of intelligent, wise and empathetic ears and voices. it’s astounding.
time is fleeting.
oh, i know that all of you are going to write in with a chorus of how much you think i may have helped you, and maybe i have.
this is the point, we help each other.
but this time, just take a moment, and really know, deeply, how immensely i appreciate that you’re all there on the other side of this blog.
and give yourself a hug from me.
just take it.
i’d be a a very different person without you there, and i need to have said it.
i love you all.
wherever you may be, and with whatever
or long-lost friends
or re-found enemies
or new-found randoms
know that i’m there with you, grateful that you’re there.
this time of year ratchets up everybody’s anxiety levels, and there’s always a lot of intense things to face.
so may your next few days be filled with patience, compassion and joy in whatever form you most need it.
yes virginia, we are all in this together.
p.s. next up, i’m going to post a blog about ALL THE THINGS YOU WILL NEED TO BRING and TO KNOW ABOUT DRESSING UP/PREPARING for the NEW YORK NEW YEAR’S EVE party. purple rain and prince is only a small part of it…we’re getting epic. there’s still tickets if you’ve been on the fence, the venue is a 3,000-seat MONSTER and there’s almost no chance we’re filling it. grab sequins and bring a posse.