PIANO IS EVIL (Theatre is Evil for Solo Piano)

 

 

AFP-91 Piano Is Evil-Merch_Design Options-R1_Option 1

hallo loves.

this is the Forever Project Page for Piano Is Evil, a collection of the songs from Theatre Is Evil, re-recorded by YOURS TRULY for just piano and voice, like nature intended.

i originally released it to patrons only last fall. i decided to keep it off the internet until….i didn’t know….basically until i had the wherewithal to talk about what i’d done, and then i never seemed to have the time and energy, so it stayed hidden.

when i toured australia and europe this past winter, i printed the CD as a tour exclusive at the merch table, and i sold a few of those leftovers on the “I Can Spin a Rainbow” tour, so a few thousand people out there actually own the physical CD (and that CD, for your information, is going to be a weirdo collector’s item forever. If you look at it closely you’ll notice that my name is printed ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE on the packaging. Once we noticed the mistake in the printing, it was too late to print for tour, but i actually thought it was kind of cool. anyway: only about 1,500 of those will ever exist ever, the new printing fixed the error.)

now i’m finally releasing it to the public.

backstory, and such:

if you missed Theatre Is Evil, i’ll catch you up: it was my massive kickstarter-ed album that came out in 2012, and which you can listen to/download HERE, for pay-what-you-want on bandcamp).

it represented the best of 6 or 7 years of songwriting, and the songs themselves were all incredibly, incredibly personal. in addition to the massive kickstarter (which broke records: 25,000 people pre-ordered the album), the amount of work that went into putting together the band (the grand theft orchestra, made up of michael mcquilken, chad raines and jherek bischoff) took years to form and polish, and the recording of the album itself (done at sing sing studios, in australia) took about a month with no days off.

then we toured the songs for a year. that was 2011-2012, and if you’ve read “The Art of Asking”, you will remember that as Hell Years….i dealt with a pile of internet controversies, my management situation collapsed, and my best friend anthony descended into leukemia.

While i worked on that album and toured the shit out of it, while delivering all of my kickstarter promises, i kinda fell apart…i’d just gotten married but was in a long-distance relationship with the guy i’d married, i was confused about whether or not i should quit my entire tour to stay with my friend with cancer, i lived in busses and airports and dressing rooms, i paced the streets and hallways of the world with a phone stuck to my head trying to connect back to my sick friend and my husband, i played in 40 of my fans’ homes and community spaces around the globe, i tried to keep my friendships together, i tried to make smart business decisions and failed and flailed, i went through an abortion, i didn’t talk about it, i did a million interviews, i explained how crowdfunding was not “begging” until i was blue in the face, i hugged thousands of sweaty people, but meanwhile….i felt like the fundamental thread tying my life together was the songs. the songs. The point of doing all this, right? the songs: which made everything exist in the first place: my career, my fanbase, my kickstarter, my band, my tour, my raison d’être, my core…and the reason i’d left previous relationships before neil because i got the feeling my partners couldn’t withstand having a constantly-escaping-performer-touring partner.

in that year, i really felt like the songs themselves got lost in the mix, so to speak.

when it was all over, in 2013 and 2014, i turned my wounded back on songwriting and wrote a TED Talk and a book instead, hoping it’d fix all the pain and misunderstanding of the previous era.

my biggest regret about my celebrity as “the kickstarter girl” was that none of the outside world – outside my phenomenal family of fans and supporters – seemed to be able to recognize me as Amanda the Songwriter….Amanda the Songwriter seemed to be the last in a list of other characters (businesswoman, feminist, internetter, wife-of-neil-gaiman) in whom the public seemed to take more interest. i was asked about and recognized for just about everything other than the songs, it seemed: my crowdfunding tactics, my social media habits, my fucking armpit hair and my stance on streaming services…but i always got the frustrated and creeping feeling that the Music Itself got short-shrifted.

i am, fundamentally, a songwriter. everything else follows.

all of the songs for Theatre Is Evil began at the piano – with me, alone, writing. (with the funny exception, actually, of the killing type, which was penned on ukulele because i had no piano on hand).

this is why, after the explosion of death (anthony’s) and birth (little ashtony) in 2015, my first bucket-list project was to book a studio near our house in upstate new york and reconnect with the piano, those songs, and re-record the entire album as a solo effort.


(photo by kyle cassidy)

i spent a week in Future Past studios in hudson, ny – huge, beautiful, converted church – with the engineer patrick higgins, as ash had various babysitters and occasionally stopped by the studio to visit mama at work.


(photo by kyle cassidy)

a lot of things shifted and started coming together in my head…and revisiting the songs was calming, restorative even. healing. empowering in a weird way.

i had the “original demo” versions of all of these songs from before we recorded Theatre Is Evil in 2012….but i deliberately didn’t listen to any of them.

i approached this album in a way i’d never approached anything before; it was like i was making a covers album of my own band record.

“grown man cry”, which was originally a slowwwwww-ass ballad, had become a kid-tempo goth jam once the band arranged it. i kept it that way, and i stole chad’s guitar licks and translated them into piano. i heard michael’s drums parts as ghosts and let them thread the song, invisibly.

in 2013 i’d played a house party in california only to find that the honored guest was the recently deceased daughter of the hosts: a fan of mine. the party turned into a wake and a celebration of love and pain, and when the family requested i play “lost” on the rickety piano in their living room, i dug deep into my heart and gave that song the hardest most heartfelt performance i can remember giving anything in my life. that song never felt the same again. i wasn’t happy with the first re-recording of “lost” for this new recording, and after first releasing this collection only to the patrons, i recorded it a third time (if you want to hear the solo recording i WASN’T happy with, you can still get it here if you’re a patron – you’ll notice it’s substantially different in tone and tempo).

“the killing type” and “do it with a rockstar” and “want it back” had become part of my rock DNA after singing them 500 times in front of a crowd, and they took on new life when i brought them back to the piano. my fingers bled on the goddamn piano doing one of those takes, and i was pleased.

“bottomfeeder” was the big challenge for the piano – it has my favorite band-production and sound on all of Theatre Is Evil – but the most satisfying when i nailed a translation back to solo piano that made sense to me. on tour, i’d coasted along the hands of the crowd in a giant dress while singing that song, and i dragged all that soul-collection with me into the take.

“smile” was the impossible. i wrote it for a huge band sound, not for a piano, and i struggled with it to no end in the studio – it took a whole day of takes and sound approaches to get it into the bombastic shape i needed it. i iced my arms that night.

“the bed song” never gets old and i will never ever tire of playing it. at current count, at least a dozen people have wept in my arms while telling me about their personal resonance with the lyrics and the feeling it evokes, and every story adds to the depth of the song when i play it…every story and every inch of emotional distance i hear about is sort of collected by me and song like a boat that trawls along with a net, collecting pain.

i remember the first time i played “olly olly oxen free” for an audience. the audience was my housemate casey and i invited her into my bedroom in the cloud club in the summer of 2009 (or 2010?) to listen to it. when i concluded that last wailing chord, she hugged me and told me it was good. i believed her. that song releases me in a way i can’t explain.

“melody dean” and “massachusetts avenue” sound more like the demo versions i remember: you can hear the bones of the band-songs.

“trout heart replica” is one of the most complicated and viscerally jagged songs i’ve ever written for piano. I really mastered its subtleties on tour and was so happy to have a second crack at pouring my heart into this new recording.

my friends, my comrades, my loves: music is alive and real – it evolves and changes.
the patreon is teaching me so much about that.

i very well wouldn’t have made this recording if i hadn’t had the fire and financing of the patreon. i would have been too afraid. of doing something self-indulgent, of doing something repetitive and irrelevant, of doing something that wouldn’t make its recording costs back.

because of the patreon, i knew i could just do it…because it’s what i wanted to do.

if you already own and love Theatre Is Evil (and if you were one of the 25,000 who backed it, my gratitude is never-ending), i hope you find a whole new joy and depth in the re-recordings of these songs which mean so, so much to me.

and if you’re new to amandalanda, i hope you love this music on its own…and if you want to go explore further and hear the full-band versions, you’re in for a treat.

to my patrons: you’re everything. thank you.

if you aren’t on the patreon, please consider joining HERE.

my good friend and long-time collaborator-photographer kyle cassidy took the train from philly to upstate new york to capture a day or two of my Piano Is Evil project, and i trust him like nobody else. he got some wonderful shots, recorded interviews, and some takes of me (including a beautiful 360) playing the shit out of the piano in the beautiful church. it’s all below, and the patreon helped pay for everything you see.

now, some words, from kyle:

Journal Entry, September 26, 2016:

So, I’m staying at Amanda’s new house this past week, and it’s big, and we’re both on slightly different schedules, so I’m here alone a lot, in the SpookyHouse doing Top Sekrit Things for this album and this afternoon I go back to the house from the taco place and I notice there’s a towel laying on the floor in my bathroom where I didn’t leave one. And I realize that it’s a folded towel that was on a shelf when I left. It’s just jumped two feet to the floor. And I’m really puzzled. And then I notice that there are two rolls of toilet paper laying on their sides that were previously stacked up. And then I notice a washcloth also on the floor.

Was there an earthquake??? I think.

Then this is starting to freak me out. I start to notice stuff all over the place that’s been moved slightly or has fallen over. There’s a trail of magazines spilled out of piles and sofa cushions that weren’t where they were….

Is Amanda doing this? Why would Amanda do this? She wouldn’t do this. She’d leave half a banana on the kitchen counter, or a teabag in the sink, but she wouldn’t pull out three National Geographic’s and shove them into a boot.

It’s a goddamn ghost! I think. I’m staying in a freaking haunted house! Something has come up from the spooky basement and moved things around. Not a lot, but everything’s just a bit off from where it was.

So then I’m all like What do you fight a ghost with? You can swing a baseball bat at a ghost all you want and it’s just going to shoot ectoplasm at you or crawl out of your TV and scare you to death or whatever. Like you need to call an exorcist or something, or solve the riddle of it’s untimely death or whatever.

And I’m seriously worried for like five minutes, wandering around the house looking at all the stuff that moved until I realize that there’s a baby living in the house too and that they crawl around and knock stuff over and shove fistfulls of oatmeal into your socks. This is, in fact, their job.

This is how my brain works.

Ash is the most delightful baby with the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. He’s like the baby the elves leave in your bassinet when they take your human child — there’s something extra spectacular about him. Maybe it’s the eyes. Maybe it’s his smile. Maybe it’s that he seems to be so happy to be on this wild ride — in a world that’s continually filled with love and art and people reading to him.

There’s a bookstore here too that’s also a bar. You can drink beer and browse books. I don’t know why this isn’t a thing everywhere. I found a book of photographs that a woman took while living alone on an island and I’m mesmerized by it. They’re mostly self portraits and I’m thinking about how this thing, this photography thing, is about opening windows and letting people look in and about how it’s a very careful thing, how far you open the window, what you let people see — you try and line everything up so that only the most beautiful things are on the other side of the window for people to see.

Amanda and I have been opening these windows for years now… since 2003 I think… and there’s a familiar workflow now which mostly involves us just sitting around and talking for a long time about everything that’s been happening since we last saw one another and then working in a fit at the last minute, but this time it’s a little different because she’s recording the album too and that’s setting the pace of everything. We’re fitting in photo shoots between takes, between lunches, and teas and beer at the bookstore. Novelist Amy Dickinson is here too.

We shoot a video, and, in typical Amanda Palmer fashion she’s live streaming the video shoot, so I’m holding a video camera in one hand and an iPhone in the other and all these little hearts are streaming across the screen of the iPhone because opening this window is about love and love wants to be shared and here’s all this love being written in air right in front of me. I’ve got three cameras set up to record the video (apart from the iPhone) and then I have a secret weapon — I’d borrowed a 360 degree Virtual Reality camera from the library and I’m excited to try opening the window all the way — letting people see everything — not just the best angle, but what it all looks like, here’s the whole world not just a slice. I set up the VR camera and leave the room, Amanda walks in and plays The Killing Type and I come back in and mention that I borrowed the VR camera from the library and she writes a song on the spot called “Libraries are Awesome”. Because they are. I tell her I’m writing a book about libraries, she says she’ll write an essay for it. And she does. Because Amanda Palmer is awesome too and I realize  that there are ghosts in the SpookyHouse and that they’re us and all these things that we do, these photos, this record, this writing, this conversation, this baby, all these things are changing the world in small, smooth ways that will exist after we’re gone, it’s not moving towels, that’s not what ghosts do, it’s writing love on air when you walk through a room.

see more of kyle’s work and order his book about libraries from his site: http://kylecassidy.com

ULTIMATE EVIL  Piano Is Evil CD + Poster

AFP-91 Piano Is Evil-Merch_ProductMockups-R6_2 Double CD

AFP-91 Piano Is Evil-Merch_ProductMockups-R6_6 Theatre Is Evil Ultimate Bundle

you can pre-order the physical CD now either on its own, or in a bundle with Theatre Is Evil, as well as a limited edition poster signed by me. yum. PLUS i’ll also be signing the first 500 copies of the album.

US STORE: http://shop.amandapalmer.net
UK/EU STORE: http://ukshop.amandapalmer.net

and given the sad political moves of the current president of the US of A: i am going to donate 10% of all merch sales from the first week to The Trevor Project, the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) young people ages 13-24.

to the next adventure, my loves.

i’m at peace now, i think. i know. you got me there. and new music is coming.

xxx

afp

Tracklist:

1. Bottomfeeder
2. The Bed Song
3. The Killing Type
4. Grown Man Cry
5. Smile (Pictures or It Didn’t Happen)
6. Trout Heart Replica
7. Berlin
8. Do It With a Rockstar
9. Massachusetts Avenue
10. Melody Dean
11. Want It Back
12. Olly Olly Oxen Free
13. Lost

——-

LYRICS:

BOTTOMFEEDER
why you always kickin’ up the sand
always kickin’ up the sand
god man you’re angry
and it makes my eyes hurt
why you always kickin’ up the sand
kickin’ up the sand
you block your sister
so the sunbeams miss her
why you always raggin’ on the man
always raggin’ on the man
it just makes you lookin’
like a sad-sack actor
why you always raggin’ on the man
raggin’ on some system
you think killed him
but you’re so so backwards
why you gotta be like that?
you’re never gonna bring him back
big fish little fish
fixing in the dark
if i had one wish
just a wish
throw me in the water cos
i wanna be a bottomfeeder
why you always hatin’ on the cabs
always hatin’ on the cabs
just means the cabs are coming
that less faster
why you always hatin’ on the cabs
you shake your fist at god
you ain’t even noticing
that they’re all passin’
why you gotta bitch about the band
bitch about the band
you know he loved’m
and they kept him laughin’
why you gotta bitch about the band
bitch about the band
you’nt even listening man
and they’re not askin’
why you gotta be like that?
you’re never gonna bring him back
big fish little fish
shootin’ in the dark
if i had one wish just a wish
throw me in the water
cos i wanna be a bottomfeeder
wanna be a bottomfeeder
wanna be a bottomfeeder
why you always dyin’ in the bath
always dyin’ in the bath
just makes me nervous
that the lizard king kissed you
why you always dyin’ in the bath
dyin’ in the bath
it’s awful quiet
and it makes me miss you
why you gotta be like that?
you’re never gonna bring him back
big fish little fish
dyin’ in the dark
if i had one wish
just a wish
throw me in the water
cos the cabs ain’t comin’ yeah
the sun’s not shinin’ yeah
the bath keeps runnin’
yeah it keeps on rainin’
but the band keeps playing yeah
the band keeps playing yeah
the band keeps playing
yeah the band keeps playing

—-

THE BED SONG
exhibit a
we are friends in a sleeping bag
splitting the heat
we have one filthy pillow to share
and your lips are in my hair
someone upstairs
has a rat that we laughed at
and people are drinking
and singing van halen and slayer
on a ukulele tear
exhibit b
well we found an apartment
it’s not much to look at
a futon on a floor
torn off desktop for a door
all the decor’s
made of milk crates and duct tape
and if we have sex
they can hear us through the floor
but we don’t do that anymore
and i lay there wondering what is the matter?
is this a matter of worse or of better?
you took the blanket so i took the bed sheet
but i would have held you if you’d only
let me
exhibit c
look how quaint and how quiet
and private our paychecks
have bought us a condo in town
it’s the nicest at around
you picked a mattress and had it delivered
and i walked upstairs
and the sight of it made my heart pound
and i wrapped my arms around me
and i stood there wondering what is the matter?
is this a matter of worse or of better?
you walked right past me and straightened the cover
but i would still love you if you wanted a lover
and you said
all the money in the world won’t buy a bed
so big and wide
to guarantee that you won’t accidentally touch me
in the night
exhibit d
now we’re both mostly paralyzed
don’t know how long we’ve been lying here in fear
too afraid to even feel
i find my glasses and you turn the light out
roll off on your side like you’ve rolled away for years
holding back those king-size tears
and i still don’t ask you
what is the matter
is this a matter of worse or of better?
you take the heart failure, i’ll take the cancer
i’ve long stopped wondering why you don’t answer
exhibit e
you can certainly see
how fulfilling a life
from the cost and size of stone
of our final resting home
we got some nice ones right under a cherry tree
you and me lying
the only way we know
side by side and still and cold
and i finally ask you
what was the matter?
was it a matter of worse or of better?
you stretch your arms out and finally face me
you say
i would have told you
if you’d only asked me
if you’d only asked me
if you’d only asked me

—-

THE KILLING TYPE
i wouldn’t kill to win a war
i don’t get what they do it for
it’s all so terribly vague
i see the pictures from a thousand years of battle
and i think
it’s such a bore
i walk new orleans with a knife
like mackie hidden out of sight
but i’d be useless if they jumped
i’m really not the killing type
i’m not the killing type
i’m not the killing type
i’m not i’m not
i’m not the killing type i’m not
i’ve got a picture of your mum
before the war when she was young
she’s got an etching to her right
i think it’s funny that
she’s looking to the left and it’s her son
i wouldn’t kill to get you back
and i’ve officially been asked
i couldn’t kill to save a life
i’d rather die a peaceful piece of shit-bait shame-filled coward
thanks
i’m not the killing type
i’m not the killing type
i’m not i’m not
i’m not the killing type i’m not
but i would kill to make you feel
i don’t mean kill someone for real
i couldn’t do that it is wrong
but i can say it in a song
a song a song
and i’m saying it NOW
i’m saying it SO
even if you never hear this song
somebody else will know
i’m saying it NOW
i’m saying it SO
even if you never
hear this song
somebody else will know
know know know
i just can’t explain how good it feels
i just can’t explain how good it feels
i just can’t explain how good it feels
i just can’t describe
i once stepped on a dying bird
it was a mercy killing
i couldn’t sleep for a week
i kept feeling its breaking bones
i heard
that if you see a star at night
and the conditions are just right
and you are standing on a cliff
then you can close your eyes
and make a wish
and take a step
and change somebody’s life
i’m not the killing type
i’m not the killing type
i’m not i’m not
i’m not the killing type i’m not
but i would kill to make you feel
i’d kill to move your face an inch
i see you staring into space
i wanna stick my fist into your mouth
and twist your arctic heart
yes i would kill to make you feel
i don’t mean kill someone for real
i couldn’t do that it is wrong
but i can say it in a song
a song a song
and i’m saying it NOW
i’m saying it SO
even if you never hear this song
somebody else will know
i’m saying it NOW
i’m saying it SO
even if you never hear this song
somebody else will know know know know
i just can’t explain how good it feels
i just can’t explain how good it feels
i just can’t explain how good it feels
i just can’t describe
ibe ibe ibe
DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE
…i’m not the killing type.

—-

GROWN MAN CRY
we are standing on the threshold
of a decent conversation
when i can hear the door slam
i know the face you’re making
and i really want to talk to you
i really really wanted to
but once you get your mind made up
there is no getting through to you
for a while it was touching
for a while it was challenging
before it became typical
and now it really isn’t interesting
to see a grown man cry
to see a grown man cry
i’m lying on the sofa
and the radio is blaring
and i’m scanning through the stations
as the boys declare their feelings
but it doesn’t feel like feelings
it feels like they’re pretending
it’s like they just want blowjobs
and they know these songs will get them
and i really want to talk to you
i really really wanted to
but i have learned my lesson now
and you’re not the one i’m turning to
and for a while it was touching
for a while it was challenging
before it got habitual
and now it really isn’t interesting
to see a grown man cry
to see a grown man cry
i was the first to warn you
i lay myself before you
i was the first to warn you
i put myself before you
we are standing on the corner
and you’re throwing down the gauntlet
it is not a life decision
we just need to pick a restaurant
after all this i should know you
well enough not to get into it
i should learn but I’m an idiot
you only want an argument
and for a while it was touching
it was almost even comforting
before it became typical
and now it really is not interesting
to see a grown man cry
to see a grown man cry
to see a grown man throw a temper fit
to see a grown man cross his arms and sit
as if the fucking world would end
if he was not a part of it
but at the same time with no confidence
never realizing the consequence
he’s having on the ones he loves
because he thinks he makes no difference
we are standing on the threshold
of a decent conversation
when i can hear the door slam
i know the face you’re making
and i really want to talk to you
i really really wanted to
but this time i am giving up
i am simply giving up on you

—–

SMILE (PICTURES OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN)
smile
you can forget about your life
smile
you can forget about your life
the truth will follow you
the truth will follow you
the proof will swallow you up
holy shit you got some action
pictures or it didn’t happen
smile, smile
your teeth are broke and it’s all right
smile, smile
your teeth are broke and it’s all right
they’ll break the best of you
they’ll break the best of you
it makes you beautiful
so fists into the lips of fashion
pictures or it didn’t happen
i had such an awful dream last night
everybody’s faces were too tight
please don’t leave me
in this nightless light
god i’m gonna miss you when you….
smile
the end is near and it’s high time
smile, smile, smile
the end is near and it’s high time
the light’s amazing man
so time your instagram
the rapture swallowing
the land
but we’re the last ones laughing
pictures or it didn’t happen
(get it cos we’ll all be dead
and no one dead can use a camera)
i had such an awful dream last night
everybody’s faces went all white
everybody in the world
was either getting killed
or getting footage of the killing
that they sent to surgeons working in the sky
i don’t wanna
i don’t wanna go to
i don’t wanna go to cali
i don’t wanna go to california
I DON’T WANT TO DIE
I DON’T WANT TO DIE
I DON’T WANT TO DIE

—-

TROUT HEART REPLICA
they’ve been circling
they’ve been circling
since the day they were born
it’s disturbing
how they’re circling
fifty feet from the pond
pretty often
pretty often
i don’t want to be told
it’s a problem
it’s a problem
it’s a problem i know
and i won’t keep what i can’t catch
in my bare hands without a net
it’s hard enough to walk on grass
so conscious of the consequences
and they’ve been jerking
they’ve been jerking
in a pail by the dock
i know that oxygen might
make them blossom and die
but I’m not going to talk
feed them details
feed them emails
they’ll eventually grow
but it’s not working
it’s not working
not as far as i know
and killing things is not so hard
it’s hurting that’s the hardest part
and when the wizard gets to me
i’m asking for a smaller heart
and i got you
i thought that i caught you
now i’ll ruin it all
feeling helpless
acting selfish
being human and all
and they’re jumping
and they’re jumping
but they’ll never get out
just keep touring
just keep on ignoring
be a good little trout
and the butcher stops and winds his watch
and lays their lives down on the block
he raises up his hatchet and
the big hand strikes a compromise
WAIT
we’ll trade you
WAIT
please just one more day
and then we’ll go
with no complaining
no complaining
no complaining
stop
come
and they’re cutting
and they’re cutting
and i think that i know
and they’re gutting
and they’re gutting
and i think that i know
and it’s beating
look it’s beating
and i don’t want to know
and it’s beating
LOOK IT’S STILL BEATING
god i don’t want to know
and killing things is not so hard
it’s hurting that’s the hardest part
and when the wizard gets to me
i’m asking for a smaller heart
and if he tells me no
i’ll hold my breath until i hit the floor
eventually i know i’m doomed
to get what i am asking for
now my heart is exactly the size
of a six-sided die cut in half
made of ruby red stained glass
can i knock you unconscious as long as i promise
i’ll love you and i’ll make you laugh
now my heart is exactly the size
of a six-sided die cut in half
made of ruby red stained glass
can i knock you unconscious as long as i promise
i’ll love you and i’ll make you laugh?

BERLIN
your bicycle’s chained to the fence outside
there’s plenty of offers but you won’t ride
how you pedal in those is a miracle
a miracle
and you laugh at yourself as you speed
through the red lights
oh berlin
nobody knows where you’ve been
in the space where your brain and your heart collide
you’re convinced there’s a practical place
that you can hide
and you laugh at the bellhop hysterical
hysterical
with your bag full of dresses and butcher’s knives
oh berlin
nobody knows where you’ve been
but they all look so ugly
and mean when you’re sober
you’ve auctioned away
all your crimson and clover
and ronny leaves lines out
and lights up the curtain
you know what you’re doing
you know it for certain
the last thing i saw
they were reading your rights
if you’re gonna go down
then you’re going down fighting
as long as you’re bent
and as long as they’re watching
you’re gonna make rent
you got no other option
WHAT?
did you think you were worth my while?
did you think i would cramp my style?
that if i had a say in it
that i’d sit here and bite my lip and listen
WHAT? WHAT?
do you think that i come off bored?
paid a fortune to be ignored?
did you think that i come here out
of the goodness of my own heart
to work on an assembly line of broken hearts
not supposed to fix them only strip and sell the parts
it’s hard to work on an assembly line of broken hearts
not supposed to fix them only strip and sell the parts
your bicycle’s chained to the fence outside
there’s plenty of offers but you won’t ride
how you pedal in those is a miracle
a miracle
and you laugh at yourself as you speed
through the red lights

—-

DO IT WITH A ROCKSTAR
now i lay me down to sleep
do you wanna dance? do you wanna fight?
do you wanna get drunk and stay the night?
no regrets
noblesse oblige
do you wanna dance? do you wanna fight?
do you wanna get drunk and stay the night?
do you wanna smoke ‘till our throats are sore?
make out and then talk and then make out some more?
do you wanna dance? do you wanna fight?
do you wanna get drunk and stay the night?
do you wanna know all the things i do
when i’m all alone and jerking off to you?
do you wanna?
do you wanna?
do you wanna? do you wanna?
do you do you do you do you
do you do you do you do you
do you wanna go back home?
your animals are all alone
oh there’s a chicken waiting on the stove
and your cousin left his dvd
of swinging in the seventies
or do you wanna go back home?
check your messages and charge your phone?
oh are you really sure you wanna go
when you could
do it with a rockstar?
do it with a rockstar
wait wait wait
i’ll be fine in a minute
wait wait wait
i’ll be fine in a minute
fine in a minute
I DON’T WANT YOUR BODY
JUST A PART TO LISTEN TO INXS
ALL THE PRACTICE IN THE WORLD WON’T
GET ME GOOD AT LONELINESSLESS
LONELILESSNESS
LONELINESSLESS NESSLESSNESSLESS
do you wanna dance? do you wanna fight?
do you wanna get drunk and stay the night?
do you wanna see all my cavities?
talk about the crisis in the middle east?
do you wanna get really terrified?
ice caps are all melting and we’re gonna die
do you wanna cry? i can make you cry
do you wanna hit me, baby, one more time?
do you wanna? do you wanna? do you wanna?
do you wanna?
do you do you do you do you
do you do you do you do you
do you wanna go back home?
your animals are all alone
oh there’s a chicken waiting on the stove
and your cousin left his dvd
of swinging in the seventies
and do you wanna go back home?
check your messages and charge your phone?
oh are you really sure you wanna go
when you could
do it with a rockstar?
do it with a rockstar
wait wait wait
i’ll be fine in a minute
wait wait wait
i’ll be fine in a minute
(do you wanna go back home?)
wait wait wait
i’ll be fine in a minute
(do you wanna go back home?)
wait wait wait
i’ll be fine in a minute
fine in a minute
fine in a minute
fine in a minute
fine in a minute
fine in a minute
fine in a minute
fine in a minute
fine in a minute
fine in a minute

—-

MASSACHUSETTS AVENUE
every time i walk along this street i think of you
and given it’s the city’s major thoroughfare
i’m screwed
taking an alternative’s a little hard to do
it’s the street i live on
massachusetts avenue
there’s the crosswalk where a milk truck
almost ran me down
the day i finally saw you
when you got back into town
i don’t know if you saw me cos i turned so quick around
hiding into traffic
clearly dying to be found
do you remember crying
in the park and shutting up?
do you remember running
and me trying to catch up?
do you remember loving me
more than i could be loved?
i chased you for so long and when i caught you
i gave up
there’s no other way to get to work
after all these years it just gets worse
memories so dull and well-rehearsed
storrow drive is pretty in the springtime
storrow drive is pretty in the fall
you don’t have go home in a straight line
you don’t have to go back home at all
there’s the cemetery where
i broke your heart in two
and there’s the pair of stones
that we had laughed was me and you
i stared at them a long time
and i asked if it was true
if i still really loved you
and they answered
YES YOU DO (i do)
people come and go but these four lanes will never move
little peach and ex’s jeeps eventually die too
even if the russians came and named it something new
it would always look like massachusetts avenue
storrow drive is pretty in the springtime
storrow drive is pretty in the fall
you don’t have go home in a straight line
you don’t have to go back home at all
storrow drive is pretty in the springtime
storrow drive is pretty in the fall
you don’t have go home in a straight line
you don’t need to be alone at all

MELODY DEAN
i never met a lady quite as pretty as melody dean
and when i laid my head down on her heart
it beated out your name
and so i had to listen
to her heartbeat several hundred times
and she was very nice about it
held my hand and didn’t mind
i never put my foot in the same river twice
i don’t like getting wet
you take the good, you take the bad
you take it all and that is all you get
the fact is you would rather i be lonely in a bathtub
with a book
the fact is you would rather i sat pining on our pictures
from new york new york new york new york
but i get torn to pieces
for the stupidest reasons
all i want’s to love the one
i’m with just like the song says
i don’t like picking sides
i don’t like sticking my cherona in a box
i like to spread her out on different crackers yeah
i like she way she looks
and when i go to bed at night
with melody undressing in my head
to get to sleep you know that
i would rather be undressing you instead
instead instead instead
i never met a lady quite as pretty as melody dean
and even though i know you are a little bit angry with me
you know that it is you i love and you i want to get me off
but you can only do that when you’re here
and right now you are not…
i never cross the continental divide
without thinking about you
i am a tree that’s carved up with her name
she is a warrior tattoo
and the fact is you’re selective about what you can remember for a start
the fact is you’re just jealous as all get out we can do it in the dark
the dark the dark the dark
but i get torn to pieces
for the stupidest reasons
all i want’s to love the one
i’m with like stephen stills says
i never met a lady quite as pretty as melody dean
and even though i know you are a little bit angry with me
you know that it is you i love and you i want to get me off
but you can only do that when you’re here
and right now you are not…

WANT IT BACK
hearts on a string like an older-fashioned phone-can
BANG ringy ring and you think you’re gonna get some
thing you can bring to a party at your wake not
thinking of the thing that you pay back when you take it
take it
like rats in a cage pushed the button got the shock trick
snickers in your bag had your number but i lost it
bets are all off you’re a lily-livered giver indie
in the hidden costs you’re a sucker and you win
it doesn’t matter if you want it back
you’ve given it away
you’ve given it away
it doesn’t matter if you want it back
you’ve given it away away away away away away oh
he’s already on the outskirts
i’m still pulling at his sweatshirt
he says fate is not a factor
i’m in love with every actor
so once when you’re gone and i wanna do it backwards
just like the song we’re addicted to the L-word
up past your head
down your back around your ankles
ready for attack
you’re upstaged and then you’re strangled
cringe like you’re cursed with your wrecking ball-y necklace
i saw it first and i crushed it with my ham fist
high for the contest who’s the better not see
eye to eye to eye
and now you’re blind and you can’t catch me
catch me if you can
(he’s already on the outskirts)
if you can
(i’m still pulling on his sweatshirt)
if you can
(he says fate is not a factor)
if you can
(i’m in love with every actor)
it doesn’t matter if you want it back
you’ve given it away
you’ve given it away
it doesn’t matter if you want it back
you’ve given it away
you’ve given it away away away away away away
he’s already on the outskirts
i’m still pulling at his sweatshirt
he says fate is not a factor
i’m in love with every actor…
i will let you go if you will let some…
i will let you go if you will let somebody…
i will let you go if you will let somebody love you
i will let you go if you will let somebody love you like…
i will let you go if you will let somebody love you like i do…

—-

OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE
SO
you wanted
that’s what you get for wanting
you got it
that’s what you get for getting
forgotten
you’re gardening
a rotting bed
of raygun era icons
SO
let’s start it
let’s start it from the minute you felt it
you felt it like a prison
a panic
you felt it
like that coffee scene
from moscow on the hudson
SO
be honest
it’s not as if you’re happy about it
it’s not as if
you’re animatronic
it’s not as if you couldn’t
cry out any time you wanted
olly olly oxen free
all the people you will never be
olly olly oxen free
olly olly olly olly
olly olly olly olly
fate
you call it
you color it
the color you want it
you carpet it
that’s awful convenient
you paint yourself a nice white room
with stripes & matching curtains
SO
you forfeit
you cannot build a river across it
you cannot hold your own heart hostage
you do not have the strength to
gag yourself in every closet
the wrong place wrong mind timing’s always bad
you’re such a sad case misplaced
renaissance inventor of a world wide heartbreak
taking it in stride cos you’re an expert
AREN’T YOU
aren’t you just a dime a dozen
murderous monosyllabic
moron with no sense of purpose
working on your songs all night to justify your worthlessness
to anyone who’s watching if they only saw your alter egos
pretty in the shop windows where you got auctioned hours ago
olly olly oxen free
all the people you will never be
olly olly oxen free
olly olly olly olly
higher than the king can
see no evil hear no evil
capture me and throw the key
see no evil hear no evil
capture me and throw the key away
throw the key away
SO
it’s over
you’re lying in a coffin
of clutter
your father and your sister your drummer
are sorting through your soft cell tapes
and lifesaver collection
and you wonder
you wonder if you could’ve done better
you wonder if you should’ve surrendered
before you learned that nobody actually wants
a fucking martyr
didn’t you didn’t you didn’t
didn’t you see
didn’t you didn’t you didn’t
didn’t you see
didn’t you didn’t you
you didn’t you didn’t see me
didn’t you didn’t you
you didn’t you didn’t see me
olly olly oxen free
all the people you will never be
olly olly oxen free
olly olly olly olly
higher than the king can
see no evil hear no evil capture me and throw the key
see no evil hear no evil capture me and throw the key away
throw the key away
THROW THE KEY AWAY

—-

LOST
i lost my wallet
i lost my wallet and i’m lost dear
i swear i had it
i had it on me when we got here
let’s go to vegas
let’s get a karaoke backroom
i’ll never find it
i wanna shout into the vacuum
that nothing’s ever lost forever
it’s just caught inside the cushions of your couch
and when you find it you’ll have such a nice surprise
nothing’s ever lost forever
it’s just hiding in the recess of your mind
and when you need it it will come to you at night
HO!
i miss the yellow
i miss the yelling
and the shakedown
i’m not complaining
i got a better set of knives now
i miss my drummer
my dead stepbrother and the pit crowd
and chuck and matty
if they could see me they’d be so proud
but nothing’s ever lost forever
it’s just caught inside the cushions of your couch
and when you find it you’ll have such a nice surprise
nothing’s ever lost forever
it’s just hiding in the recess of your mind
and when you need it will come to you at night
the wake is over
we gotta leave because they said so
i want to tell you
i want to tell you
but you’re dead so
golden light so way up high
so wave goodbye
tonight you’ll find
that nothing’s ever lost forever
it’s just caught inside the cushions of your couch
and when you find it you’ll have such a nice surprise
nothing’s ever lost forever
it’s just hiding in the recess of your mind
and when you need it it will come to you at night
no one’s ever lost forever
when they die they go away
but they will visit you occasionally
do not be afraid
no one’s ever lost forever
they are caught inside your heart
if you garden them and water them
they make you what you are
no one’s ever lost forever
when they die they go away
but they will visit you occasionally
do not be afraid
no one’s ever lost forever
they are caught inside your heart
if you garden them and water them
they make you what you are