Amanda Palmer – Do You Swear…

DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH THE WHOLE TRUTH
AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH SO HELP YOUR BLACK ASS
(apologies/mad props to NWA)
A brand new (completely FREE, rah!) song by Amanda Fucking Palmer to commemorate her release from Roadrunner Records (read her letter to them HERE). Should you wish to donate more than the bare minimum for the download, just change the $0.00 to whatever you’d like; Every Cent (sans PayPal transaction fees) will go straight to Amanda. HOORAH! HOORAH!

Written & Performed by Amanda Fucking Palmer
Featuring:
Amanda Palmer – Vocals, Ukulele, and Piano
Jason Webley – Guitar
Sam Kulik – Trombone

HOLA MY FRIENDS!!!

i am so excited to be able to give you a song, legally, for free. please take it & enjoy. no strings attached. and something exciting for me to be able to say: if you feel so inclined to donate something for it, i’ll actually see the money!

i wrote it about 3 months ago. the only people who heard it before last week were neil gaiman & tom dickins, who were around my house when i penned it. they liked it and thought it was funny and good, so i hope they weren’t wrong and you like it, too.

it was recorded this past friday afternoon (april 2nd), and took us about 5 hours to create the whole thing, start to finish.

below, check out some photos from the session. we took them at the studio in cambridge, MA. it’s called The Bridge, re-named and re-built from the old Fort Apache, where radiohead, the pixies, sebadoh, etc etc recorded in the 80s/90s. some of you folks even came to my secret twitter show there, last year.

owen, the engineer who runs the joint, is one of my best friends from high school. if you’re in a band near the boston area, it’s RAD, and fully equipped for live shows….check them out.

this song was supposed to be just a solo piano tune but like WKAP, it got bigger and bigger with more and more STUFF, very quickly:
jason webley was easy to rope in, since he landed the night before and had his guitar with him.
sam kulik, trombonist extraordinaire, was a different story.
sam toured with me last fall in nervous cabaret, and had texted me THAT MORNING to see if we wanted to hang out, since he was in town from NYC to visit his folks.
my text back: “dude do you have trombone on you & do you want to come to cambridge & be on our song?”
sam’s text back: “yeah sure i can be there in like an hour”

and so it was, my song wound up with guitar and trombone on it.

here’s the three of us (jason with his new short hair & sam in the back in the sea-foam t-shirt…)

and here are a few other photos from that day…

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
and VOILA!
randomly recorded music shall save us all of our souls
RAH RAH RAH

OH, AND HERE ARE THE LYRICS:
when i was six years old my sister alyson
asked for a stove for her birthday
a miniature one you could actually cook with
and my mom was nice and she bought one
alyson needed a reason to bake something
barged in my room and she grabbed me
she said:
“i made a cake and we’re going next door
to sam weinstein’s and you’re getting married”
the cake was burned
it tasted gross
she made me kiss him
on the mouth
now i am 33
unmarried happily
no plans in life and i’m planning to keep it that way
i do kissing with only one mission
do you like to kiss? then you have my permission
and i have already spent too much time
doing things i didn’t want to
so if i just want to make out all the time
you can bet your black ass that i’m going to
when i was nine i was kind of a loser
the kids in my class didn’t like me
melanie chow was the meanest of all
and my mom made me go to her party
nobody talked to me i sat there quietly
drawing with crayons on a napkin
a picture of melanie skewered with a pitchfork
her legs getting eaten by lions
the cake was good
i took some home
i had a party
in my room
now i have friends and i’m not such a loser
but i go to bars all alone and i sit there
and order red wine and i write and i like being alone around people
yes that’s how i like it
and i’ve already spent too much time
doing things i didn’t want to
so if i wanna sit here and write and drink wine
you can bet your black ass that i’m going to
yes i come here often
sure i’ll have another one
yes i come here often
sure i’ll have another one
but i don’t have to talk to you
when i was 17 i was a blowjob queen
picking up tips from the masters
i was so busy perfecting my art i was clueless to what they were after
now i’m still a blowjob queen (far more selectively)
i don’t make love now to make people love me
but i don’t mind sharing my gift with the planet
we’re all gonna die and a blowjob’s fantastic
and
when i was 25 i was a rock star
but it didn’t pay too well i had to strip on the side
of the road to get ready for shows and the cars driving by
baby they’d never know
what a bargain they’d gotten
and if i’m forgotten
i’m perfectly happy with all that has happened
and i still get laughed at but it doesn’t bother me
i’m just so glad to hear laughter around me
and i’ve already spent too much time
doing things i didn’t want to
so if i want to drink alone dressed like a pirate
or look like a dyke
or wear high heels and lipstick
or hide in a convent
or try to be mayor
or marry a writer
smoke crack and slash tires
make jokes you don’t like
or paint ducks and retire
YOU CAN BET YOUR BLACK ASS THAT I’M GOING TO

WHEREVER YOU ARE, WHOEVER YOU ARE, I LOVE YOU.

Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for loving and supporting the little band that Brian and I started ten years ago. Thank you for checking out the new project that me and my twin sister Jason Webley are working on. And most of all, thank you for being the best motherfucking fans…and the best PEOPLE that I could have around me. No, seriously, thank you.

Many exciting things are ahead now that I’m free. Be sure you’re on the mailing list so that you hear about them. ALSO: Follow me on Twitter and “Become a Fan” on Facebook. Do some of that stuff, do all of that stuff, just please stay connected.

ROCK LOVE, all day and all night, mofos…

Punk Cabaret is Freedom

xxx
A F to the muthafucken P