Ashes Nine…And other birthdays.
Hello loves.
***Edit*** 6:47pm Sept 16th: Looks like this post didn’t go to y’alls notifications, so I’m editing it and notifying y’all. Hopefullt this reaches you, and I’ll send Patreon a grumpy email.
Long week ahead. First show back in the saddle this Saturday in Northampton – stay tuned for local patron gathering info around there – it’s coming in a second. I’m behind. As usual. Nothing is going accordung to plan but did it ever.
Yesterday we went to Lee’s memorial. It was hard. We scattered some Ash. Ash scattered Ash.
I wrote this:
Ashes to ashes.
My hand, my child’s hand, and Lee’s ashes, which we just scattered into Lee’s garden…together, with our family, our whānau.
Tomorrow is the child’s 9th birthday, and we spent today letting go of the dead. And playing baseball. And going to the science museum. And feeling alive.
Dust to dust.
Everything changes.
Ash.
Ashes.
Ashes far and die.
Then back to life for Ash’s birthday this morning.
Ashes nine.
Yep. We’ve made it nine years, me and little Anthony or Ash For Short. Happy Birthday, not-so-little one.
We celebrate.
Leftover party cake, ice cream and scrambled eggs for breakfast and, strangely enough, the eggs went untouched.
Then a pre-school treasure hunt using a million shells we brought back from Waiheke and I’m not telling where they led or what was waiting in the upstairs shower.
I played a ukulele birthday song for his class during morning circle and taught the kiddos some words in Te Reo Māori. My god. This world. Where am I? Who am I? What HAPPENED??
I try not to think about it too much anymore. I just know I love this child with all my heart, I love him more than art, I love him more than success, I love him more than love, and I will protect him with all my might because that’s what my heart calls me to do.
(Mama & Ash cake photo by Brendon, who has been the tallest and most fortified lighthouse in this raging storm.)
Thanks for being my village for helping me do this life and raise this kid.
He’s okay.
ALSO – two really special people in my life share this birthday with Ash. Rachel Jayson, my mom friend and frequent collaborator…give her a follow on instagram and/or listen to our podcast that we made:
https://amandapalmer.net/podcast/rachel-jayson-music-as-a-tool/
And
DRUM ROLL
Our own MICHAEL MCCOMISKEY has a birthday today too. I love this guy more than words can say and appreciate him more and more every day.
Assistants, and friends, like this come around once in a fucking lifetime. I don’t know where my life, my business and my sanity would be without this guy as my wingman. Happy Birthday, @mwmccomiskey. I got no words but thank you and…you’re not a dick. You’re a good person. And…a professional.
Photo last January on Sydney Harbor, by Brendon, boaty boat care of Jordan.
Here’s one of my faves of Michael from that tour last year. I snuck it.
He’s the less public posty type – so just squeeze your eyes and send him a psychic hug. He’ll be at all the solo shows coming up if you want to bestow knitted gifts or nice whiskeys upon him.
Love all around.
Have a beautiful Monday night. I’ll try to write tomorrow.
I am a lucky woman. A lucky mother. A lucky artist.
I am tired.
I am happy.
I am sad.
I am okay.
I love and appreciate you all a lot.
X
Amanda