Knee deep in it, and, as always, pure love.
Hi everyone.
I’m buried for the next 13 days or so in catch-up, kid vacation, possible snow days, post-tour collapse, pre-tour prep, and a very mixed mind.
I just posted this to social media, and more thoughts below.
….
If you’re wondering what I look and feel like right now, a few days after landing from six weeks down under, jet lagged still, sleepless very, after a week of legal meetings, on a day when we were meant to have a snow day but we didn’t, with shit scattered all over the house, the to-do list leaving me nearly in tears, after fielding messages from hundreds of human souls about who I am, what I mean, why I’m terrible, why I’m wonderful, and after a very long and intense conversation with my 8 year old about the value and pitfalls of fame; this is the look. Roasted. Toasted.
I am a tired-ass MF. Yet. It feels like nothing can knock me over anymore. I’ve had it. I’m a flexible wobble doll. It’s just compassion all the way down.
I have not been sleeping well. But I looked at my eyes in the mirror for a long time this morning, and I felt this very tangible, very detectable strange and soft little feeling.
It was love.
It was not ego, it was not despair, it was not fear, it was not praise, it was not judgement.
It was just love. Not a narcissistic love, not a pleasing, pleading love. Just a gentle, unadorned, simple love for this messy, beautiful person. This is what I wish for you today.
May you gaze at yourself with the eyes of love.
If you need someone to say it in earnest, I will.
I love you.
Hang in there, beauty.
….
(You can go share this little photosentiment on Insta or FB if you wanna.)
I’m going to be trying to do a ton of clean-up in many many many departments over the next few months.
My way of cleaning is weird. I have to art while I clean.
I have new ideas. I have so much old stuff to put out. I’ll figure it out. I always do. I know you’re all here for it.
I want to write three obituaries for the people I just lost.
I also have to organize the house, my finances, my overflowing email inbox, and make massive choices about my music and publishing career.
I know you’re here.
Just strap in. It’s gonna be a strange spring.
Time to get ready to burn stuff.
There is a lot to burn.
I love you all so, so much.
Thank you for being my patrons.
Xxxx
Afp
Ps I love these old photos of The Dresden Dolls that Brian just dug up. By Sarah Smalls, probably around 2002/3. Don’t forget the band is about to tour the south. Tickets are all nearing sold out. 🙂
March 22&23: Mohawk, Austin TX
March 26&27: The Kessler Theater, Dallas TX
March 29th: The Eastern, Atlanta GA
March 30th: Brooklyn Bowl, Nashville TN
Dresdendolls.com for tickets.
