September 23, 2024

Weekend recap. And up for a while so say hi.

Hello my loves.

I’m up for the next half hour or so. Wave hi in the comments and I’ll respond. I’m here.

What can I say, I’m feeling strangely reborn. Maybe it’s the playing shows again, maybe it’s the autumnal blitz of cold, maybe it’s being in love, maybe it’s the feeling of deep homecoming, maybe it’s a combo of all the things, but I feel ok even though things are not ok.

I feel a new kind of ok, a bigger kind of ok. I saw this meme a few months ago and it struck me.

I am feeling this a lot, lately. This feeling of becoming bigger on the inside as the grief grows and grows and collects and collects. It’s never going to go away. Those things are never not going to have happened. Those people will always be dead. But I’m still here, still alive, still mothering, still making music, still experiencing. The grief comes along for the ride. The grief is my passenger. Sometimes I tell the grief to STFU and let me pick the music.

The show on Saturday in Northampton at Academy of Music Theater was just…magnificent.

I’ll be sending a copy of the show recording to $5 patrons.

Here’s some shots from Michael …

Photo by Abby Wilson…

And Brendon…who took the header photo…

And the encore … which I did less clothed ….photo by Michael

(Abby Wilson)

That was “Map of Tasmania”. 🙂

Here the setlist

But I didn’t stick to it. 🙂

Highlights included “Casual” and “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan, and I played a super harsh and seating version of “Trout Heart Replica” for my couchsurfing host, Ximena.

And I gotta say: I belong here on the stage.

Every moment spent behind that piano felt like a prayer.

The signing line was beautiful and I heard a couple really harrowing stories. I see you all. And I love you.

The next day was patron-gathering day for the locals and we took over Will and Ximena’s gorgeous coffeeshop, Iconica. I’ll let the pictures tell the story.

I wrote this on socials this morning:

Unprecedented levels of love today with my patrons in Northampton, the joy of @iconicacafepub and the artists who run it, and the feeling that my heart is safe and moving closer to where it needs to be to feel that way forever. Love isn’t what I thought it was. Or…it is what I always said it was, but now I actually believe it.

I know I wrote a book about all this stuff and it isn’t new, but it does feel like my own songs and my own art have created a space-time life raft that is pulling up to my coordinates in the bad adrift right now, and my community is armed with musical notes of the past that are stitching a rope to pull me up and out of the riptide I got sucked into.

Will and Ximena from this place are community heroes and fantastic hosts. I hope everyone keeps patronizing the club and sending business their way, they deserve it and they work incredibly hard.

Space matters. Placement matters. Time and attention matters. Objects. Smells. Music. Every hug. Every gift. A bottle of wine from Waiheke. A bottle of ink made from Ash trees on the Smith campus. Two keys: one large for mama, one small for Ash. A crochet-ed shawl to brighten the fall. The cards and letters and understandings about the darkness. It’s a two way street, my people. It always has been. The leaves are yellow fire bright and each one is minuscule. Together it’s a symphony of flame. A lighthouse tattoo. Forever.

I love you all so much. I was adrift; I am afloat.

Some people and places truly bring out the softer lover and the true poet in me. She’s coming home. It’s been so long. I needed it. I needed her. I longed for her. In your arms, I find it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Michael, Brendon, Dave, Will, Ximena, all of Northampton…thank you for this weekend. This is what it’s about. I love you. 🍂♥️🔥

….

We talked about so many things at this little gathering. Fame. Twitter. The internet. Chappell. The state of community. Swimming. It was so good.

…..

Here’s me backstage before the show, sewing. Yes. Fixing my own shit.

(Photo by Michael)

…..

I don’t know how to say it.

The stage is like oxygen, because that’s where the lies go to die, and where the feelings go to be validated. It sounds stupid but it’s true. It’s that’s simple.

…..

I enjoyed playing Astronaut, but the piano was a baby grand and didn’t have a vast bottom end, so it was hard to successfully dominate. The tuner who came to tune the piano at 5pm came in bare feet. I celebrated him.

And so.

And so I miss New Zealand.

….

And so another show is over.

….

I’m back to momming and it’s going to be a good hot while before I tour again.

I have a benefit for Kamala/Repro rights coming up in Boston Oct 14. Save the date.

It’s Ani’s birthday today. I just posted this;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Ani DiFranco!!! I finally have an excuse to post this joyous photo of us from May when I went to see you in Hadestown and forgot.

This is a true goddamnnn artist, people. This is what it looks like. Ani has been on the side of emotional truth and musical justice since day one and she has evolved in her life and career so gorgeously and she inspires me daily. She’s a mother and a poet and a writer and an actor and a thinker and a feeler and a do-er.

If you loved her music in the 90s, you should consider following along and supporting her on patreon (I do), reading her memoir (“No Walls and the Recurring Dream”) or just listening to “Dilate” on repeat tonight.

Her songs give me chills like no other. Don’t forget for every Amanda Palmer and Chappell Roan who came later there were the femme queer lyricists who combat-booted the doors down first and Ani is one of the OG. Did she SAY THAT IN A SONG? Did she actually just sing

“In the air-conditioned building

Decorated with corporate flair

I wonder

Can these boys smell me bleeding

Though my underwear”

Oh yes. She did. (“Blood in the Boardroom”).

Happy happy Ani. We love and appreciate you.

Please feel free to blast comments with fave Ani songs and memories ♥️♥️♥️

Photo by our own Krys Fox

Photo by our own Anthony Mulcahy

Patreon.com/anidifranco

You know what to do.

……..

Can you believe how much I post on the internet in one off day.

There was also this … because, fuck.

…….

There is so much to do and say.

I can never quite figure it out.

I want to live my life but I also want to report.

….

The drive back from Northampton was fucking gorgeous. I didn’t post these on socials but I wanted to share something about how deliriously happy I am to be in the New England fall. These smells. These sights. It’s hard to explain.

It’s home.