what does normal even mean.

hallo loves.

this is a really moving little film; three intercut interviews about returning to “normal”.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/30/opinion/covid-reopening-anxiety.html?referringSource=articleShare

it’s short. i just watched it and felt compelled to share it, and write.

and ask.

it makes me wonder about everyone’s feelings about this. how is it…feeling?

what does – and doesn’t – “normal” even mean anymore?

what is it feeling right now, in your heart, to begin edging back into the way things were? tell. i’m listening. (we are all listening).

as for me? i don’t know. i’m lost. i’ve been in a country with no covid for well over a year. the idea of going home is intoxicating, thrilling and also … very frightening. i’m afraid i would not understand things. i’m afraid the culture shock would be disorienting. i’m afraid that what is normal to others will not feel normal for me. i’m terrified of feeling alone.

i’m not even sure i can describe any of this.

and i’m a writer.

but i am at a loss for words to describe how any of this feels.

it’s why i come to you to help me.

so tell me. how does it feel? maybe it will help the loneliness.

i have an althing to get out tomorrow. i’m bottlenecking my patreon posts.

and i don’t care.

x

a

p.s. *edit, 20 min after posting* i cross-posted a shorter version of this post to FB and the comments are gold, too. this was shared by asha sanaker. this is in ithica, NY. fuck i wish patreon would allow for images in the comments.