“Coin-Operated Boy” live at Fenway Park and a soppy love note to my boyfriend.
Hi Loves.
Oh my lord, this is so dorky but so so beautiful…and…I had to contain myself not posting this to the Althing last night (I’m still reading comments over there), but I didn’t want this to get lost in the shuffle. This happened on Sunday and it’s the most adorable and BOSTON thing that has ever happened to me.
We took Ash and Grandpa Jack to a Sox game on Sunday, and it turns out that Brendon knows the live organist at Fenway Park (did you know Fenway Park had a live organist?? I did not)….this guy Josh Kantor.
So he secretly messaged Josh during the game and got him to play “Coin-operated Boy” in the middle of the 7th inning.
Nobody else in the stands knew what was going on (PERFECT) but this is the little video Brendon took of the whole thing dawning on me. (His phone died right when the video cuts off, it was like it was meant to be.) I posted just the clip on socials today, but I wanted to say more here.
I haven’t felt this kind of joy in many, many, many years, and I haven’t felt this safe and loved. I’ve been living in survival-mode and trauma-triage for so long that I forget that moments of pure joy are possible. This man has saved my heart. He’s been reminding me for over a year that love can be good. I trust again.
It’s startling to me, looking at my own face here. I’m not performing, but I know the camera is there, but I’m genuinely overwhelmed and filled with love for this guy. I don’t think I’ve seen this look in my own face since the mid 2000s, before everything started getting very, very dark. I love that my child can see this face. I love that this face is there when you peel back the other face.
Also, I fucking love baseball and I love that my kid loves baseball.
Ash got to run the Fenway bases at the end of the game because, apparently, that’s a tradition at the end of the season, and we got to wander up and see Josh’s music station, high above the stands. NEW FRIEND !!!!
And … Ash got to pose with some World Series BLING.
Then we ate oysters.
Things are slowly, slowly stitching together in a new way, and my heart, which has been locked in a box for so many years, is starting to beat, starting to breathe, starting to take her place in my body again.
Brendon Downey…ummmm….yeah You win. You KNOCKED IT OUTTA THE PARK KHED.
But really. Thank you for being such a beautiful fucking man with such a beautiful brain and beautiful, pure fucking heart. Thank you for taking care of me, and taking care of this kid, and taking care of my whole wild family while the winds of change and dark storms whip around us all. You’re a human lighthouse.You bring me a quiet joy and a sense of safety like no other ever has.
Men like you come around once in a fucking lifetime….and I love you so, so, fucking much.
Mwah.
xx
AFP
P.S. The Dresden Dolls shows in Woodstock are SOLD OUT (YAYY!!!!), and the Boston shows are NEARING SOLD OUT! 7,000 tickets is a ton, people, and we are almost there. Keep it going. Nov 1 & 2 at Roadrunner with Gogol Bordello (in Allston), and it’s gonna be a BLAST AND A HALF. Tickets amandapalmer.net/events
P.S.S. A favor…I’m back on TikTok after hiding away/staying away from it for three years. If you’re over there, come back and say hi. It is time. This clip gave me the perfect excuse. SO PURE OF HEART SO MINDFUL SO DEMURE. https://www.tiktok.com/@theamandapalmer/video/7420843098940476715